Forgiveness

14 October 2012

There is a gross disparity

Between my present life and how

I lived before.

My school years echo with injunctions:

“You must do well! You must be trained

To fight to live!”

I crammed my head with formulae,

With languages and histories

(some true, some lies),

And then I soiled my hands with grease

To learn a craft at odds with all

I meant to do.

I changed my job and from then on

I wore a suit, not overalls.

In church I married

A woman whom I ceased to love

When all affection, hers, then mine

Had disappeared.

That is the past.  My second wife –

We lived and loved for more than forty

Exciting years.

She is no more.  I sleep alone.

I know her grave, but do not visit

Where she is not..

It seems to me that I have learnt

To view the present and the past

As smiling friends.

The urge to score, to win has gone,

And in its place forgiveness joins

Conflicting contours.